


A gift for Deku

by Hilarity_ensues



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - No Quirks (My Hero Academia), BAMF Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki is a Dork, M/M, Not to be taken seriously, Supportive Bakugou Katsuki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 01:52:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14864394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hilarity_ensues/pseuds/Hilarity_ensues
Summary: What happens when Izuku Midoriya has to type his thesis on the physics of goo in one entire night before the day of his birthday?





	A gift for Deku

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this is a crackfic I wrote many months ago. I decided to convert this fic using characters from BNHA. Please don't take this fic 100% seriously, and enjoy!

At the entrance of his thesis defense, Izuku was barely able to open the door. Once he entered, complete darkness soured his eyes, forcing him to search for a light switch until— he heard the dark cackle of a baritone.

 

Suddenly, 5 spotlights turned on. _*_[ _Cue Music_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1atQFLYbzuk)

 

Looming above him was his thesis professor, standing along with hooded figures: the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Each horsemen was holding a scythe with blades so sharp that looking at them would slice open your eyes.

 

A bulging ball of air and saliva ambled down Izuku’s throat. Getting his papers ready, he opened his mouth to begin uttering the 120 000 words he typed that would determine his fate.

 

“ _This physics of Goo is…”_

 

**PZZZZZHHWAAAA!**

 

A streak of lightning from one of the horsemen’s scythe nearly hit Izuku, destroying his entire thesis. His body now stiff and up bolt, as if he was also struck by the lightning, he stared through tears and shock at the defense jury.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED…….**

*Author needed to grab dinner during the writing of this crackfic…..

_*** Intermission ***_

**Now to continue…..**

 

“ _I gave you one year to come up with a brilliant research thesis, and you have the gall to do it on one of my most hated topics!!!?”,_ the professor screeched.

 

“ _When I was a knee-high to a grasshopper, I was a brilliant young lad who had a future. At the age of 10, I was about to be accepted into Oxford. The only thing I had to do was to impress the recruitment committee with my discovery of intergalactic space portals. BUT, BUT, on that day, some bullies put buckets of goo on top of the rafters. While I was presenting, they unleashed their torrent of misery on me and the presenters. After that, I was rejected from Oxford. But that wasn’t the only time! During my first date, I was sprayed with goo by those dastardly bullies! For an entire year at high school, they would spray with goo ALMOST EVERY DAY. So I went to the secret library of the Occult, and found a spell that would summon the four horsemen of the apocalypse to do my bidding. And one day, I commanded the horsemen to rid the world of my tormentors…”_

 

“ _B-BUT WAIT, I had no idea you were traumatized by g-goo?”_ piped Izuku. “ _H-how could I have known that? It’s not…_ ”

 

“ ** _SILENCE!”_** the professor bellows. “ _I have no use for your chicken scratch attempts at using logic to defy my brilliance. All that matters are my_ feelings _!”_

 

Now all was silent as Izuku faced his professor. Processing the events that unfolded, he felt a cold draft uncomfortably caressing his body. Turning his head he saw his professor gesturing from the horsemen towards him, and then the flash of a shiny blade nearly missing his throat. The professor was going to kill him. For hurting his feelings.

 

Angered that his professor would kill him for an irrational reason, Izuku conjured a pokeball from his overcoat sleeve. He then pressed the button, and out came a Magikarp.

 

Izuku briefly remembered from a flashback on how he procured the Pokemon:

 

 

> It was 4:00 am, and Izuku was hunched over his desk typing furiously on his Mac. He had gone through 20 cups of black coffee. His curly hair hung over his eyes. His body burnt from exhaustion. Then out of nowhere, he heard his doorbell ring. He quickly rushed downstairs to open the door, but found no one. As he closed the door, something was thrown at him. Using his quick reflexes he caught what looked like a red and white ball. On it was a note that said: “ _Here's your fucking gift. Hope it's not as useless as you. Sincerely, your douchebag blond friend_ ”.
> 
>  

Now understanding why he was given the gift, Izuku got into batting position and swung the fish onto the body of the horseman attacking him. The horseman, surprised, stumbled back before disintegrating into tiny pieces.

 

Shocked with unspeakable anger, the Prof roared: “ **KILL HIM!”**

 

The three remaining horsemen teleported in front of Izuku while brandishing their scythes. One shot lightning at Izuku, nearly missing him by an inch. The horseman then crossed blades with Izuku, holding both of them at blade lock. As one of them was about to emit lightning from their hand, Izuku did a flip jump, causing the electrokinetic horseman to kill another of the horsemen. Izuku then threw Magikarp onto the electrokinetic horseman, and the fish bit off his testicals. Facing the final horseman, he then grabbed Magikarp, and with the precocity of a swordsman player, sliced his opponent.

 

Now only Izuku and his professor were left. His prof was fuming with rage, yet panicked that his most powerful body guards were slaughtered by a worthless Pokemon. Knowing what to do, the prof produced an occult book from his sleeve, and shouted: **“HAVAVA DEZEBRA!** (*the lame version of Avada Kedabra….). A blinding beam of light headed towards Izuku.

 

Knowing that he had to something, Izuku threw Magikarp towards the beam. As Magikarp hurtled through the air, it began to glow bright. It’s body then expanded into a grotesque shape until it became a different Pokemon: Gyrados.

 

 

 

Gyrados then swallowed the spell, gulped it, and then continued roaring and thrashing in the air. It then landed on the ground in front of the professor, and stuck out it’s head. In a few seconds, it had swallowed the professor whole.

 

The pokemon then turned its head towards Izuku, glaring at him. Izuku was awashed with fear. He didn’t know if he was going to end up next on Gyrados’s menu. As Gyrados then lunged towards Izuku, it then stopped. Izuku felt a soft nuzzle, and looked above to see Gyrados calmly towering above him. This gave Izuku a thought: “ _Fuck my degree. Fuck this university. Fuck this miserable ball of water and dirt called earth. I know what we’re going to be doing together”._

 

Izuku then got on to Gyrados, who destroyed the sealing using Hyper Beam, and flew away into the setting sun.

 

* * *

 

In 24 hours after Izuku’s thesis defense, the world was in shambles. All the world’s militaries were destroyed. Nukes from every country were depleted. World governments were in disarray.

 

Izuku was sitting near the Mount Fuji wandering to himself. He then gave Gyrados a warm smile and a loving pat on the head.

 

Suddenly a Dragnonite flew down and landed near them. On it was its rider, who slid down and sneered at Izuku.

 

"So, I see my gift came in handy shitty nerd."

 

"A Magikarp" Izuku glared quizzically. "Did you really have to do that?"

 

The rider then noogied Izuku's hair. "What can I say? It's as _deku_ as you are. Besides, what better gift than none is total destruction and world domination?"

 

"Well," Izuku stared longingly at the rider's eyes. "Thanks Kacchan."

 

"You're fucking welcome. And happy birthday Izuku."


End file.
